


Summoning Gone Stupid

by Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angel Dust is still a Demon, Angel Dust-Typical Sexual Content (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Awkwardness, Dark Magic, Demon Summoning, Demon/Human Relationships, Drinking, Drug Use, Getting to Know Each Other, Human Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), M/M, Magical Accidents, Murder, Roommates, Spiders, Stupidity, Timeline What Timeline, Trans Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Trans Male Character, Weird Biology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21974746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts/pseuds/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts
Summary: Alastor has always been intrigued by the occult so when he finds an old book he decides to try summoning a demon just to see if he can. Unfortunately, something went wrong and he wound up having to house a ridiculously tall spider.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 52
Kudos: 461





	1. Wrong One

Alastor had always been very interested in the darker side of theology. He had started with voodoo, having learned young from his mother how best to interact with the Loa; To serve them without insulting them. Of course while his mother had practiced right handed, Alastor had always favored his left. From there he just kept studying darker arts until he stumbled on an old leather bound book in an old pawnshop.

He bought the book after curiously flipping through a few pages. It had summoning rituals and wards in vivid detail and though he hadn't tried a summoning beyond light voodoo before, he thought it could be fun for a lark. He brought the book home and read through it over dinner. He wasn't sure why the impulse to summon a demon hit him so suddenly, but he supposed there was no real harm in it. Best case, he got to prove it was something he could do. Worst case, he'd be dragged to hell where he knew he was probably going anyway. He didn't have much to lose by speeding up the process.

Alastor went to bed that night very soundly, the radio on his desk playing quietly to give him something to listen to. The next morning he went to work as usual, reading more of the book during his lunch break. He wasn't bothered by the concerned looks of his few coworkers. The rest of the week went very much the same until friday night, which was when he had decided the summoning attempt should happen. 

Alastor decided to summon one of the Goetic Demons, having picked Buer on a whim because it looked silly. He didn't want any favors, so he didn't see the harm in picking out a demon at near-random. 

Alastor was very careful, surrounding the summoning circle with an even wider circle of wards designed to keep any demon of considerable power contained. Between the summoning and warding circles he set out offerings of food and drink. The offering part was not detailed in the book, but practicing voodoo had taught Alastor well to be a gracious host to any sort of visiting spirits.

What he actually ended up bringing into the living world looked nothing like the drawing of Buer in the book. Instead of a lion face surrounded by goat legs there was a very lanky, many limbed, furry white… _thing._ It was clad in tight fitting clothes that didn't cover it very well, especially in the chest area where its fluffy breasts practically spilled out of the low neckline.

"Hey! I was busy!" The thing said, sounding very oddly like a man from new york. "Who the fuck are you?" He asked, standing up but having to hunch over to avoid the ceiling fan. 

"I am Alastor. Apologies for interrupting your activities, whatever that may have been." Alastor introduced.

The demon raised a brow and huffed before returning the pleasantry. "Angel Dust."

"Odd name for a demon." Alastor mused, internally disappointed that he had brought up the wrong demon indeed. There was no such name in the book.

"You got an odd name for a human." Angel snarked back, looking around before he noticed the offering. "Ooh! Wine!" He perked up, stepping out of the circle to grab a bottle of red, not shy about drinking it right out of the bottle. "So, what do you want out of all this ritualistic shit?" Angel asked, waving his hand at the circles he stood between. "Nobody's pulled me outta Hell before but fuck it, I'm up here now. You picked pretty ol' me so you must be lookin' for a weird time."

"Pardon?" Alastor asked, not quite sure what the demon was implying.

Angel just rolled his eyes and sat down in a way that someone really should not sit when they were wearing a skirt as short as it was. Alastor quickly averted his eyes, having no desire to know if the demon was wearing underwear or not. Angel didn't seem to notice, leaning back on his upper set of arms and beckoning Alastor to come close with the lower set.

"No need to be shy, baby." Angel cooed. 

"Good lord, I summoned a lust demon." Alastor pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, my good fellow. I want nothing from you. I especially do not want to have sex with you. Please close your legs."

"I didn't want your carpet rippin' my fur out anyway." Angel laughed, picking himself up. "If you don't want nothin' then why am I here?"

Alastor held up the book, ready to explain his interest in the occult and that he had only been testing out the information. He was surprised when Angel stepped right over the circle of wards completely unaffected by them. Alastor's eyes widened; He hadn't even considered that there may be a demon completely loose in his home. He was distracted enough by that fact that it surprised him when Angel took the book out of Alastor's hands, flipping through it before handing it back.

"Shit's translated weird." Angel explained with a shrug. "Lemme guess. You tried to get a big bad bitch in here and wound up with pretty little me?"

"You are eight feet tall." Alastor pointed out.

"Eh, my boss is my height plus a half." Angel dismissed, returning his attention back to the wine. "Demons are all sizes."

Angel also picked at the food, an assortment of meats and cheeses and fruits. They weren't anything special but Angel wasn't one to turn down snacks when they were clearly for him.

"I think I should send you back now." Alastor said after watching Angel scarf the whole set of food and chug down the entire bottle of wine without a breath.

"Aw, partypooper." Angel whined, but stepped back into the summoning circle. "I guess that's fair. Hope I see you again when you die! You look like you'd be fun if you ever get that stick outta your ass."

"Charming." Alastor snarked, flipping through toward the end of the book to the dismissal spells.

Not a single one worked.


	2. First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel is himself and Alastor is tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in modern times but Alastor is an old soul so hes got a grandpa house.

Angel hadn't seen the living world in decades and it had changed so much since he died. Hell had kept up with technological advancements but it was a bit of a shock to smell clean air and normal walls without eyes imbedded in them. The ceiling was too low, of course, but it was still nice to be somewhere he didn't have to constantly watch his back. Even better, Alastor couldn't seem to figure out how to toss him back into Hell.

Ignoring the human's protest, Angel left the circles again to drop himself onto the couch, kicking his feet up. The furniture was too short for him but it was soft enough to be comfortable. 

"Well I guess you're stuck with me 'til you get this shit sorted out." Angel laughed.

"You're not going to help me?" Alastor asked. "You said you were busy!"

"Yeah but I ain't goin' back to Hell unless I have to. It sucks down there, and not the fun way." Angel huffed.

"Well you'll be cooped up here. You can't leave this house looking the way you do." Alastor protested, gesturing to all of the demon. "You'll cause a panic and draw attention to me." 

"Oh, fun! We'll be roomies!" Angel cheered. "What, you don't like attention?"

"No." Alastor said quickly, feeling the beginnings of a migraine. "Certainly not the sort you would bring. Just tell me how to send you back."

"Okay, okay." Angel said, sitting up and leaning forward in a much more serious posture. 

Alastor found himself leaning toward the spidery creature, eager to listen. Spells were very finicky and he didn't want to mistake any detail. That would only bring forth a bigger mess.

"I have no fuckin' clue." Angel admitted, sitting back and stretching his legs out across the floor. "I never got into magic and shit."

Alastor groaned, stepping away. He liked his privacy. He liked living alone. He was financially well off but his home was on the smaller side. He didn't have room for another person, especially one that took up quite a lot of space with his legs alone, to live. He hoped Angel didn't need to eat because even though he could afford it, he didn't want a strange mouth to feed either. Regrettably, there didn't seem to be much of a choice in the matter. He didn't know if demons could be killed and he wasn't about to try something so foolish.

"Alright." Alastor decided. "Stay if you must but I have rules." 

"Fair. Lay 'em on me." Angel agreed.

"Firstly, you may not leave this house. You will keep all windows covered. You will _not_ go into my bedroom or bother with the basement freezer." 

"That's a weirdly specific one." Angel pointed out, referring to the last bit.

Alastor ignored the comment. "Lastly, you will not answer the phone. Are we being clear?" 

"Sure thing, Daddy." Angel said with a grin, the dim candle light glinting off of his golden fang.

Alastor grimaced at the title. "Do not call me that."

"Sorry," Angel said, completely unrepentant. "I just figured with you bein' all strict and shit you wanted a certain kind of respect." He snickered, crossing his legs and his lower set of arms while the upper pair stretched over the back of the couch. "Would you prefer Sir or Master?"

"Neither, if you're just going to be lewd about it." Alastor said with a mildly offended sniff.

"I'm lewd about everything." 

Alastor was glad he had done this silly ritual on a friday night. He had the entire weekend to think of what to do about his unwanted guest and he had no desire to leave the demon alone while he had to go into work. It only took a few hours unsupervised for the demon to have cleared out his entire liquor cabinet. Alastor had to sleep sometime, but had been very rudely awoken when a lanky furry body joined him in his bed.

"I said to stay out of my bedroom!" Alastor vacated the bed quickly, irritated. 

"But I'm _lonely_." Angel whined childishly, slurring heavily and smelling strongly of alcohol.

"That is in no way my problem. You are clearly drunk so I will forgive the overstep just this once. Get off of my bed and out of my room immediately." Alastor ordered.

"Th' couch's too small." Angel said, only stretching out further on the bed.

"I don't care." Alastor huffed, grabbing the blanket that Angel was laying on and yanking it and the spider both off of the bed. Angel was larger than Alastor, but the human was a fair bit stronger than he looked.

Angel grunted as he hit the floor unexpectedly. He didn't seem too upset about it, Alastor noticed. Instead of offended at the rough handling, Angel only looked very pleased about it. He had a smirk on his face and his fur had noticeably fluffed up. 

"Love a man who can throw me," Angel practically purred. "Got me drippin' already baby."

"Do _not_ stain this quilt." Alastor replied with a grimace< dragging the blanket and the spider out of his bedroom doorway and into the hallway. 

Once Angel was out, Alastor slammed the door shut. Looking around for something to blockade it, he settled on the trunk at the foot of his bed. It was full of countless old books as well as his grandfather's antique rifle. Surely Angel wouldn't be able to push something so heavy. Of course, just because Angel couldn't push the door open it didn't stop him from whining at the door all night like a needy puppy. Alastor had no sympathy for dogs and certainly not for anyone who chose to act like one.

Alastor didn't manage to go back to sleep that night between the noise and the lack of his favorite bedcover, but he had his space back and that was what mattered.


	3. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations go off on tangents so easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and dialogue heavy... I've had A Day

By the time Alastor managed to fall asleep it was already nearing four in the morning, and regrettably his internal clock had been conditioned by working to never sleep in past six. Between the lack of sleep and general weirdness of the situation, he briefly thought that he had dreamt up the whole thing until he noticed the trunk in front of his bedroom door. He sighed, changing out of his pajamas and into a simple sweater and trousers. He looked in his mirror, forcing a smile on. As long as he started his day with a smile then he could end it with one too.

He pushed the trunk back where it was supposed to be and opened his door. Angel was wrapped up in the quilt and curled up across the doorway, only his face and lower portion of his legs sticking out of the thick blanket. Alastor stepped over him, but not very carefully. He wound up kicking Angel in a lower shoulder and while it hadn't been purely intentional, it wasn't purely an accident either.

Angel jolted as he was kicked and his own long legs kicked out reflexively, nearly tripping Alastor in the process. He rolled over, trapped in the blanket momentarily before he managed to get his arms free. He pulled himself up, letting the blanket drop off of him. Without the bedcover he was stark naked aside from his boots.

"Put your clothes back on." Alastor grimaced, taking the quilt off the floor and shaking it to rid it of the pink and white hairs. He tossed it back into his room and shut the door before making his way into the kitchen to get a pot of coffee started. He would definitely need it.

Alastor would have also made toast if not for the fact that the bread was mysteriously missing. As was several other food items with no apparent rhyme or reason to what was gone and what remained.

"Angel Dust if you must eat the last of something you should _ask_ first." Alastor scolded. "If you even need to eat at all as a demon. I had assumed entities such as yourself did not have mortal needs."

"Of course I got needs." Angel replied, ducking into the kitchen. He was, thankfully, dressed. "How's Hell supposed to be a punishment if you don't gotta try and struggle to keep your shit together?"

"Punishment?" Alastor asked, watching the coffee brew. "You're a demon aren't you?"

"Yeah." Angel confirmed, leaning his hip against a counter and crossing both sets of arms. "But I ain't Hellborn. I used to be human just like you. And if your freezer's any indicator you'll be a demon when you kick it, Mr. People-Eater." 

"I ask _so little_ of you." Alastor groaned at the admission that Angel had broken yet another rule within his first night there. He was quickly distracted by the unexpected information "Humans can become demons?" Alastor asked, thoroughly intrigued now. "How does that happen? Did you make a deal with a Hellborn one?" 

"Nah. I was just a shitty person." Angel shrugged. "Pissed people off, killed a few, fucked around and took too much. Woke up tall, fluffy, and freaky. Got used to it quick though and you would not believe the amount of deviants that get off just watchin' me work." Angel explained, completely oblivious to the look of disgust that Alastor shot him at that last comment. "It ain't all bad, actually."

"You work as…?" Alastor asked, his morbid curiosity getting the better of him. 

"Porn actor and prostitute." Angel answered proudly. "Full contact. I'll do kinky shit but it's extra if it's nasty. Boots stay on though. Not budgin' on that one." 

"I am still not interested." Alastor huffed.

"Oh, come on. Guys don't do it for you?" Angel asked. "Hey I get it. Straight guys are scared of dick but I ain't got one at the moment anyway. My toy shelf is still in Hell."

"You are not my type."

"Why not?" Angel scrunched his face, looking down at himself. "Is it the arms? I can tuck 'em in."

"What? No. I do not have a type at all." Alastor hissed.

"So anything goes?" Angel asked.

"I am ace." Alastor huffed.

"I thought your name was Alastor?" 

Alastor decided to forego a cup and just drank his coffee straight out of the pot. He wasn't doing this so early. He was too tired and irritated already. He had only wanted to know more about the social structure of Hell and general information but the spider had a talent for derailing things altogether.

"Asexual. I have no interest in intercourse." Alastor explained with a sigh after drinking half the pot.

"But…" Angel cocked his head, leaning further against the counter and resting his chin on a hand. "But you're _hot._ "

"Thank you." Alastor replied dryly. "That has nothing to do with how I perceive other people." 

"Okay fair." Angel shrugged. "I guess I get it. I don't like ladies. You don't like anybody."

"If that's how you understand it." Alastor conceded.

"You gonna share that?" Angel asked, pointing to the coffee pot Alastor was drinking out of.

"No." Alastor answered. 

"You're just gonna drink the whole damn pot black, huh?" Angel asked, growing somewhat amused.

Alastor, feeling as if he had been issued a challenge did exactly that before answering. "Yes."

"Gross." Angel snickered, taking the pot after Alastor set it down to rinse it out for him. "Go ahead and sit and read another dumb old book so you can get rid of me. I'll make breakfast."

Alastor didn't exactly laugh, but he did sharply exhale through his nose. The offer was so unexpected he wasn't sure how else to respond.


End file.
